america hot: The Funniest Thing You'll See All Week

It's this new Miley Cyrus video. I promise. Words don't even suffice to describe how ridiculous it is. It's like early Britney Spears and Night at the Museum had a baby and it was raised by rabid condors (just go with it). The song isn't her worst, but it's certainly not her best. I mean, it's called "Can't Be Tamed" if that gives you any idea of the quality. Although the makeup is hilarious.

As a little palette cleanser, here's Beyonce's newest video, "Why Don't You Love Me." On first glance it's just amazing costumes and adorably kitschy cinematography, but I think she's making an interesting point. By setting the song, which centers on how upset/annoyed she is that some guy doesn't love her, in such an old-fashioned, almost cheesy environment, it seems like she's saying that the sentiment itself is outdated, and that no girl needs to mope around the house in lingerie crying about how some boy doesn't love her. Props for that, Beyonce. Makes much more sense than whatever Miley was selling.

"Why Don't You Love Me" - Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.

On a totally different note, I found a closeup of Sienna Miller's makeup from the Met Gala, and LOVES it. She's definitely channeling Bridget Bardotte here, with the heavy gel liner/lashes and the teased, half-up hairstyle. I think the softness of her hair and the lack of anything on her lower lashline keeps it really modern and fresh, as does that impressive display of cleavage. You know there has to be a whole roll of double-sided tape hiding in there somewhere.

Have I mentioned yet that today's theme is randomness? So in my unrealistic dream world where I'm an insanely rich eccentric jet-setter person, my house/NYC apartment will be filled exclusively with things from ABC Carpet & Home and Jonathan Adler.

Jonathan Adler: Junior Templeton Chair, $995 at jonathanadler.com, Woodhouse Queen Bed, $2,500 at jonathanadler.com, Prozac Jar, $80 at jonathanadler.com: How adorable is this chair? Answer: so adorable. The fuchsia is so crisp and fun against the white wood, and it manages to strike the visual balance between comfortable and tailored. I just want to curl up in it with a cup of chai and watch Pride and Prejudice. Or play out some other oddly specific daydream. The fact that this bed is called Woodhouse makes me think it was designed with Emma Woodhouse, Jane Austen's protagonist, in mind, which makes me love it even more. I'm really feeling upholstered headboards for some reason, and I love the way that the headboard has so many elaborate curves, but the rest of the bed is so simple and streamlined. The dove grey hue is also insanely chic. It might just be my twisted brain, but I'm highly amused by the idea of keeping makeup or cookies (even better!) in a circus-themed jar that says "Prozac" on it, because both of those things make me happy just like Prozac would. Oh, Jonathan Adler. So clever in his Valley of the Dolls sort of way.

Leather Terrier, $695 at jonathanadler.com, Zebra British Flag Rug, $995 at jonathanadler.com, British Flag Pillow, $98 at jonathanadler.com: I realize that this is fully ridiculous, but yes, I would have a full-sized statue of a terrier in my house that my real terrier would run around and play with. And I would give them matching collars, and it would be too cute for words. I'm normal, I promise. I think the idea of a British-flag printed zebra rug is so, so cheeky. I love anything with a British flag on it, and juxtaposing that counter-culture icon with something as quintessentially rich preppy as a zebra rug is just genius. And for another take on the British flag, this cheerful pillow would brighten up any bed or couch. The unexpected color scheme is a really fun new twist, but it also comes in its actual colors if that's your thing.